thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
