he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The adults are the big ones right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
