I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
