dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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