what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
