I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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