he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Boobs are out for the taking
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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