i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
