I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
