Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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