alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
