We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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