so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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