think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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