He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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