my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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