No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
