I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
