then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
