Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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