I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
