He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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