i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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