you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if only i could text you this smell
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
