My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
either way he was missing a nipple.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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