somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
