Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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