just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
