Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
