Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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