8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
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In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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