You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
