youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
