I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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