...so i touched it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
