Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
