We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
