need another drink. this is the easiest way
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
