I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
