im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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