She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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