i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
