I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
