why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
