sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
