Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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