i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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