i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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