I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
