i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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