we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
