He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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