It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
