You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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