I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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