So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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