I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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