Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
