I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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