I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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